1. |
Shirty
03:52
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With some cobwebs in her hair and some dust in her eye
She never shaves her legs and she loves to get high
She cuts all of her friends with a switchblade tree
She's a good friend to you and a homie to me
She always wore a
(Shirty, shirty)
She always wore a
(Shirty, shirty)
Why can't I have your
(Shirty)
I'm sorry that I got your
(Shirty dirty)
I remember when you let the buffalo in the classroom
I remember how you smirked when Sam gave you the moon
I remember when you left your shirt on the pontoon
Yeah
La la la...
She always wore a
(Shirty, shirty)
She always wore a
(Shirty, shirty)
Why can't I have your
(Shirty)
I'm sorry that I got your
(Shirty dirty)
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2. |
Ain't No Phony
02:18
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(but you haven't even tasted my souffle)
Lace up my big leather boots
Put on my cowboy hat
Walk out the door with a parachute and a
Big ass wooden baseball bat
I'm goin' out to hit the town
I gotta go to the dentist
I'm gonna buy me a kazoo and create a tempest
Buy me a pony, I ain't no phony
Free installation, great service, mail-in rebate
Buy me a fairy and a fat man named Harry
Free installation, great service, mail-in rebate
I'm gonna take you dancing at the Burger King
I'll buy you some french fries and everything
We'll be like 2 birds on the wing
Get some botulism and dance and sing
I'll buy me some blue panties and pierce my lip
Drink some juice and read a book
Play my guitar and listen to GWAR
and Oooh, on the TLC Tip
So please
Buy me a pony, I ain't no phony
Free installation, great service, mail-in rebate
Buy me a fairy and a fat man named Larry
Free installation, great service, mail-in rebate
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3. |
Bleeding
01:10
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It's been a long time
I'm fearing the worst
There's holes in my shirt
OOOHHH!
I can't tie my shoes
Fell out of bed
Why can't we all just get along?
I'm bleeding from the head!
Bleeding from the head?!?
I got a new suit
Why do I feel used?
I'm out of orange juice
I'm bleeding from the head
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4. |
Ode to Maria
02:23
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Here
In this chair
Sits my conscience
Is it there?
Put your money on the table
Lie your gun on the ground
Time to get the party going
Bring out the bloodhounds
Ban, bang, get on the floor
Catch him running out the door
Grab the shaver and the plastic sword
Cuz he's driving away in the Honda Accord
Now in the warp zone
Which path will you choose
One leads to the ocean, another to the sea
One for the devil & the warlock in me
Bang Bang
Bang Bang
Ban, bang, get on the floor
Catch him running out the door
Grab the shaver and the plastic sword
Cuz he's driving away in the Honda Accord
Grab the shaver
Cuz he's driving away
In the Honda Accord
He's got all the stereo equipment
That money can afford
He's got more dough
Than Maria's got Shriver
She had a date
With the guy from MacGuyver
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5. |
Antonio
04:17
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I'm on an escalator
I'm not a player hater
And all I care about is pleasing you
My name is Tony Rocky Horror
Look out kids, I'm crossing the border
Now that we're alone I've got nothing to do
My allergies are killing me and
I cannot see anymore
Wake me up so I can fill the cup
And I stood up for you
Allergies are killing me and I stood up for you
Long johns and marijuana
OJ Tropicana
I bought a pair of Wal-Mart shoes
Louise sold me a can
And now I'm running just as fast as I can
She's a scary girl and she's chasing me away
My allergies are killing me and
I cannot see anymore
Wake me up so I can fill the cup
And I stood up for you
allergies are calling me and
I cannot see anymore
Wake me up so I can fill the cup
And I stood up for you
Allergies are killing me and I stood up for you
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6. |
Prisoner
04:12
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Where do I begin? Right at the start
Is this written in my astrological chart?
Tell my mom and dad I'm A-OK
I'm on a steady diet of Frito-Lays
Thanks for making me prisoner
Thanks for taking me as prisoner
When we met I never would have guessed
That this would end up such a hot mess
Then when I moved in things surely changed
Look at me in these shackles and chains
Thanks for making me prisoner
Thanks for taking me as prisoner
I wish you would spend some time with me
Did you forget where you put the key?
I don't really wanna be let out
Tell me baby, what's that all about?
Thanks for making me prisoner
Thanks for taking me as prisoner
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7. |
Manatees
04:04
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Sometimes I wish I was a manatee
Sometimes I don't wish I was a manatee
Manatees don't play guitars
I like to play guitars
If I was a manatee
I'd ignore humanity
And play tag with my friends the dolphins
I won't mind I'll lose all the time
It seems so obvious to me
That dolphins are way faster than manatees
Sometimes I wish I was a manatee
Sometimes I don't wish I was a manatee
Manatees don't play guitars
I like to play guitars
If I was a manatee
I'd bring along a golf tee
And try to play golf in the sea
I'd miss rollin' on my dubs
And probly forget my golf clubs
Crap! Manatees have bad memories
Muncha, muncha muncha muncha muncha
I eat sea lettuce
Cruncha cruncha cruncha cruncha cruncha
But not sea cucumbers
Sometimes I wish I was a manatee
Sometimes I don't wish I was a manatee
Manatees don't play guitars
I like to play guitars
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8. |
Radishes
02:19
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Radishes
So my friend and I walked out
Into the garden of radishes
Yeah, we tried to tiptoe
Just because so we wouldn't step
On the
Radishes
Splurge is a friend of mine, oh yeah
We go drinking at half past 9
In Portsmouth we wine and dine with all the ladies
And eat some
Radishes
Splurge and I, we bond like friends and
I give him a radish every now and then
Splurge is so big and so cool and he
He's friends with the King
The king is a tool
Radish.
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9. |
Judy
01:12
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Oh Judy
Hot patootie
Met you at the bank last week
(last week)
You made a transaction
Into the bathroom
I could see you there through that hole in the wall
(hole in the wall)
Oh Judy
And your big lovely booty
I wouldn't trade you for the world
Oh Judy
And your big round lovely booty
Oh Judy
I love you so
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10. |
Guldens
03:06
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I got a dog in a bag at a baseball game
got 5 packs of mustard by the name of Guldens
Yeah, Guldens
Guldens
Tastes so good
Guldens
Spicy and brown
Guldens, baby
Guldens
I went to my seat with my dog in my hand
We was cheering for Jaime cuz he's the man
Jaime
Yeah, Jaime
Jaime
Jaime
We love you
Hit a home run
Jaime
Jaime
Jaime
Only used 3 packs of mustard on the weiner
Got some on my sleeve, had to use the pocked cleaner
It was dirty
Yeah, dirty
Mustard stains
Yeah, it stains
Cuz it's yellow
Mustard
Yellow mustard
Mustard
Guldens
Tastes so good
Guldens
Spicy and brown
Guldens
Guldens
Guldens
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11. |
Celia
03:13
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After searching for a long time
I found the one for me
The one who set me free
Too much time has passed
She is the way things should be
The way things should be
It's strange in this alien world
I fell in love with an alien girl
Skin of Turquoise, eyes of brown
Alien girl turned my world upside down
I met her in an alien deli
Bought some sauce and vermicelli
Took my number, stood next to her
Opened my mouth, started talking for sure
I said something like "Blah blah hee hee"
Translated: do you want to go out with me?
She said "Yeah, yeah yeah"
I said "Yes, yes, yes"
It's strange in this alien world
I fell in love with an alien girl
Skin of Turquoise, eyes of brown
Alien girl turned my world upside down
She
Was wearing a bright blue dress
Me in tattered jeans what a mess
She seemed to like me, I sure liked her
Asked if I could know her name and she said
"Sure. My name is Celia. Straight from Montpelier."
Her name is Celia, straight from Montpelier
I said "It don't look like you're from Vermont"
(beep beep beep)
She said "I'm straight from New England.
Been here since birth. I just ate 52 carrots
Please pay no attention to my girth.
Proud to say I hail from Montpelier
Proud to say hey hey, my name is Celia."
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12. |
Soda Can
02:47
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Did you ever pop the top off a soda can
And wonder 'bout the sound it made
Scientifically? Or is it just me?
I was walking down the street just humming a tune
Soda can in my hand when the aphids attacked
Ate the shirt off my back
I wonder if you can tell which parts of this song really happened
And which ones I just made up
The sleeves on my shirt are sneaking up on my arms
Where is the breaking point? Do I roll up the cuffs
Or is enough enough?
A shirt can mean more than a trusted old friend
Cuz a shirt would never steal your girl or trample your dreams
Just kinda split at the seams
Some of the verses of this song are better than others
But that's what happens when you don't work too hard
If you live by the clock you can probably tell time
Why don't I hear that more? It's a saying of sorts
Upheld by the courts
There's a moment in time where you know you've done wrong
But you can't do a god damn thing to change what you've done
The clock just struck 1
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13. |
Kathleen
04:40
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Golden brown locks
You wear polka dot socks
All the boys know your name
And they think that you're hot
Kathleen, pardon my stare
Polka dot socks and your hair
Oooohh
I took you out to Denny's
On a Sunday afternoon
The waitress made a mistake
And she gave you two spoons
We laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed
At the blunder she had made
I called you the next morning over toast and marmalade
Kathleen, pardon my stare
Polka dot socks and your hair
Oooohh
We talked on the phone from 8
Until quarter past 1
I asked if you were doing anything later
And you said, "No, let's go have fun"
Our date was set for 8 so I arrived
At 7:15
I opened the door
There you were
Kissin' on my best friend
Awww
Kathleen, pardon my stare
Polka dot socks and your hair
Oooohh
Kathleen, you broke my heart
I know I'm not that cute
And I know I'm not that smart
But I'm a prize
My mama told me so
And I'm a much better kisser than him
But I guess that
You'll never know
Kathleen, pardon my stare
Polka dot socks and your hair
Kathleen, pardon my stare
Those polka dot socks
Damn, those polka dot socks
Oooohh
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